Okay, we win the stale site award. You would think I could take better care of a blog than this. Just for fun I will tell you an of-course hypothetical story that could have/might have/would it scare you if it did happen?

Let's just pick springtime for our adventure. Shall we? It seems an appropriate time of year for fishing. Yes. Fishing is our topic today. How shall I tell this story? A dialog you say? So it is.

The Setting

It is springtime (remember?) and the dogwoods are blooming in all their splendor. Country lore around here has it that when the dogwoods bloom, the crappie are biting. (Crappie for you uneducated folks is not a derogatory bit of inappropriate humor but a smallish and deliciously tasty fish. Especially with a bit of lemon squeezed on top and dipped in ketchup. Yum!)

So, the crappie are biting. Did you get that? It is a very important part of the story so don't forget.

The idea of fishing for crappie has been tickling the brain of a guy we will call Daclemo. (pronounced DAH klee mow) Well Daclemo saw the dogwoods blooming and promptly packed up his fishing gear and his young son and drove as if guided by an irresistible magnetic force to the nearest lake.

His wife waves goodbye and hums merrily to herself as she dreams of a fresh fish dinner (After all...The finest fish at Finney's are the freshest fish french fried.) and goes about her day oblivious to the upcoming events which will turn her world upside down! (Okay, maybe that's a bit of a stretch but this would have made a great recording.)

Several hours later, the phone rings.

The Dialogue

Lovely Wife: Hello

Daclemo: Hey! Can you get some towels ready for us?

Lovely Wife: (smiling) Towels? How was fishing? Did you catch anything? Did you guys have fun?

Daclemo: Yeah, we caught fish. But I need you to get us some towels.

Confused Wife: Okay. I can get towels. How was the day? How is Parks-a-lot? (Parks-a-lot is the young son of Daclemo and his lovely wife.)

Daclemo: He's fine. Do you have the towels yet?

Wife: (firmly) Yes. I need more details please.

Daclemo: (calmly) Everything is fine. But...we had a flat tire, I ripped my waders and soaked my clothes and now I'm driving home in my underwear and I need you to have some towels ready so I can get out of the car.

Panicked Wife: (not at all calmly) What! You're in your underwear! Driving? On the streets? With a small child in the car? Where is Parks-a-lot?

Daclemo: (calmly) He's fine. I got him a Sonic slushie because he was bummed that I took his shirt.

Incredulous wife who has lost all wits: You took his shirt? Why?

Daclemo: (still calmly) I needed something dry to sit on so my seat wouldn't get all wet.

Wife with eyes bulging still tying to regain composure and become lovely wife again: So. You are in your underwear. Driving on the street. Miles from home. A donut spare tire on your truck. With a small child, who is shirtless but has a slushie, in the back seat. Is that correct?

Daclemo: Yep. So? About those towels?

Wife: (heavy sigh) I'll get the towels ready. You better have some fish.

Posted by stephanie at July 7, 2006 03:24 PM

Whoa! Hold on there a dad-blamed cotton pickin' minute! He went to Sonic? The place where you sit in your car and someone WALKS RIGHT UP TO YOUR CAR to give you your order? In his skivvies? Brave soul, that Daclemo.

Posted by: angie at July 7, 2006 08:20 PM

Wow.

That sounds pretty crappie.

Feel free to delete this one.....

:)

Posted by: angie at July 7, 2006 08:22 PM

I stand corrected from those who should know. It was a red gatorade from a store PRIOR to the loss of his pants. All data is hypothetical of course.

Posted by: The Lovely Wife at July 7, 2006 08:55 PM

You also win the award for most humorous "made-up" story, with an award for the best supporting editor going to Angie! Whew, that was close! Ah, Summertime (yes, as in the song from Porgie and Bess by same title), when the livin' is easy and the tales are tall!! So hush little Parks-a-lot, don't you cry, or give in to the urge to edit even more!

Posted by: Madeleine at July 8, 2006 02:47 PM

Fiction
or
Fact with names changed to protect the innocent?

Posted by: Richard at July 9, 2006 04:45 PM

Did you have fish that night? Did Parks-a-lot's shirt really protect the seat? No one ran out of gas?

Posted by: Hannah at July 10, 2006 12:56 PM

No, I did not (hypothetically you understand) have fish and now I cannot remember the reason why. (They are in the freezer now and Care-a-lot really liked watching the guts squish out as the fish were cleaned.) Just thought you ought to know that "juicy" tidbit.

I have no idea. I hope so.

The flat tire was the only car malfunction that I was priviledged to know.

Posted by: Lovely Wife at July 10, 2006 05:17 PM