Run through by a large wheeled vehicular... Whomped on the head repeatedly with a rubber mallet... Energy sucking creatures leeching every bit of umph from my body...
That is what I am feeling right now. And while margaritas were whirring and blending at our house last night, they were not consumed by me and thus they are not the cause of my ick.
It all began about three weeks ago. It was a Thursday. Quite a normal day that had barely begun. The kids and I were assembled in the kitchen. Morning schoolwork scattered across the counter and me preparing to make some yummy sourdough pancakes. (I am certain that they would have been quite yummy, that is.) Suddenly, angrily piercing the stillness there was a screeching, brain baffling BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP!
Our eyes crossing and spinning, the kids and I looked in panic at each other, scanning the batter bowl and making wide sweeping unseeing arcs across the room. I got some of my wits about me and told the kids either the smoke alarm or carbon monoxide alarm was going off and to go straight to the back yard and stay there. The rushed to unlock the door and with not-quite-fear and not-quite-security they ran outside and stood on the patio. I realized that it was the carbon monoxide detector in the kitchen screaming at us and quickly reopened the back door. I opened all the windows to the back yard and then took the phone and went out with the kids. The beeping continued to screech through the now vacant house and the newly full back yard. We sat. And tried to call David. And sat. We listened to the beeping echo in our now empty heads. And sat. And sat. I retrieved the kids’ schoolwork, started them back to work and peered through the door at my pancake batter. Sigh. "Would this beeping please stop?!?" I inquired of no one in particular. Eventually, in what seemed like 48-72 hours (but was probably 10ish minutes) the beeping did stop. When my brain stopped beeping, I reentered the house and looked about. The detector was quiet and everything seemed normal.
I came back outside and gave the children a dissertation of much more than they ever wanted to know about carbon monoxide and its detrimental effects on the human body, particularly theirs if indeed there were nasty little odorless, devious, looking-for-trouble COs invading our home.
David called back and I gave him the short version of the morning and said "Now what do I do? I can't put the children back into a possibly filled with odorless ick house and I don't know if I should call ghostbusters or the gas company or possibly some pancake delivery people because we are really getting hungry out here and..." Fortunately at this point David interrupted me and said. "Close up the house, make sure the detector is back in place (they plug into the wall), keep everybody outside and let's see if it goes off again."
I quickly closed the 43 windows that I had opened, snagged a few food products and retreated back to the back yard. The kids finished their work and released from the feeling of immediate danger, they set about playing. I, however, was alternately thankful for the beautiful weather, lamenting the pancake batter on the counter, and generally fidgety about the whole situation.
Well, some time later (my time estimates are quite poor, so let's just say it was...later) the beeping started again. It was not so horribly brain intrusive this time through the closed windows and doors. After reopening the bajillions of windows to shoo out the nastiness inside, David (who had the benefit of internet access and no beeping in his head) had me push buttons on the detector to gain some data. It turns out is was alarming "explosive gas present" but had recorded carbon monoxide levels. Checking the other detector in the kids' hallway, it too had levels of carbon monoxide present. (not dangerous levels... symptoms apparently begin about 50 ppm (parts per million) and our detectors recorded 36 and somewhere in the 20s.
You really wanted to know all this, didn't you?
Now comes the exciting part. (not really) We called the gas company and reported the issue and they told us they would send someone out immediately and told us not to use a light switch, the phone, any appliances, stay out of the house and try not to blink...or so it seemed. So we waited again. In the back yard, looking at the pancake batter through the open windows. The kids frolicked about and several years later, the gas company did indeed arrive. David came home to watch their inspection (it is very convenient to work 5 minutes from home). They tested every gas type appliance in our house, quizzed us about airborne products in the air, took soil samples and water samples and inquired about the curious smell in the kitchen. "That would be my sourdough pancake batter that has yet to be cooked and consumed." I replied. "Smells good!" He answered. Sigh.
As the kids and I stayed in the back yard, I realized that it was nearing noon. Consternation! My yoga class is at noon. Let's stop all this foolishness and get with the program! Is our house toxic or not?
The gas company found nothing. We closed up the house, waved at the sad pancake batter and rushed to yoga. All was quiet when we got home.
But. (the ominous but) But..later that afternoon...BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP!
A day later BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP!
A week later BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP!
More days later BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP!
A call to the manufacturer of the alarms and BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP! While on the phone with her.
She said that she was sending us a replacement alarm, but please keep the other ones plugged in because there may really be a problem.
The new alarm showed up yesterday afternoon sometime. But yesterday was a full day and we had friends over last night for some football watching and fun. The house was full of children and fruit salad and margaritas. (not for the children :) We wrapped up the evening very close to today, looked at the new alarm sitting in its battered box by the front door (which had clear warnings about not battering the box) and figured we would plug it in tomorrow.
To bed we go, kids and adults, sometime in the wee minutes of today.
BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP! At 5:25 A.M.! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! In the hallway right outside of the bedroom doors. Screaming at us, piercing the brain, violating the silence of the night, making you want to throw up it is so loud and you were so asleep. And us not trusting it to really be alerting us to any real danger, yet not wanting to dismiss it foolishly.
I assured Caroline that we were fine and stay on her bed and ran the detector to the garage while trying to silence it. Meanwhile, David has ripped open the box to the other alarm and is installing it in the offending hallway. I get my alarm to stop beeping and leave it in the garage for the geckos to explore, and join David to check on the kids. Parker is sound asleep. Caroline is awake, but unfrightened. She tells David "I stayed right in my bed when the alarm went off and waited for you to tell me what to do." Good! Those family fire alarm instructions are working.
We go back to bed and I stare at the ceiling with my heart and mind still racing. My mind refuses to let me sleep as my body refuses to let me get up. The two fought for several hours and finally the mind won and here I am.
The best part of this was the look on Parker's face this morning when I told him what happened. He had no idea. His eyes twinkled as he said. "I just sleep better than you guys." Thankfully, both David and Caroline fell back asleep and have just recently emerged.
I may be grumpy today. Maybe the rest of the house can counterbalance me. That would be good.
Posted by stephanie at September 22, 2007 09:35 AMHow frightening! At least the first 2-3 times. After that, how very annoying! Hope the new alarm is quiet and dependable, meaning I hope there are no malfunctions and no real problems.
Posted by: Ruth at September 22, 2007 09:54 PMIndeed! I hate that when something so disruptive invades precious sleeping time!
So...does the new one (which is hopefully unbattered in the battered box) work? Or rather, does it tell you when there really are CO problems? What is the next step? (I mean, besides taking a baseball bat to the offending alarm!)
Posted by: angie at September 23, 2007 07:44 PMSo far it is quiet. But predictability has not been a key factor here. I know not what comes next. Ghostbusters might be a good call.
Posted by: Alarmed at September 23, 2007 08:45 PM