I am sitting at my computer in an odd, wired, tired, prednisone and Sudafed altered sort of state and am going to tell you a story.
As a bit of context, the ragweed in my area have mounted a full out assault on my wimpy allergic system. (I'm sure there is a much more accurate medical diagnosis, but this will suffice for my purposes.) As the ragweed organized (The assault has been on in a scattered and easily controlled manner for the better part of two weeks.) into battalions and mounted their offensive, I sank deeper and deeper into our overstuffed off-white living room chair and proceeded to use all of the kleenex in the house. (I am down to one partial box. And it is the small square box, not the big rectangle. And it has brown stripes and the word Ultra on the side.) A combination of the sinking and the reverberating sneezes, coughing and no speaking voice at all, has made for an interesting beginning of the week.
The children of the house began to take matters into their own hands. After the 8th round of "Fend for yourselves. And please bring me some food. And make it soft." (Still got that tooth issue going on.) (Also remember I have no voice, just an irritating squeak and rasp.) The cookbooks started opening and ingredients started flying. Literally. I could see flour poufing through my watery eyes still slunched on the overstuffed chair.
I stopped them to announce (Announce sounds so audible and this was not.) that I had to go to the doctor and get in the car. They tumbled in, flashmaster, Eragon, The Tale of Samuel Whiskers, math books, pencils. And me. In old sweats and a bright pink scrunchie, tightly clutching the last brown striped Puffs Ultra box closely.
The doc jovially told me that I looked like the poster child for allergic disease. Always my dream in life. After a whopping prednisone shot (at least the amount of burn was whopping) and a prescription for lots more prednisone to shut down the Ragweed Offensive. We went home. Still with one brown striped partial box of Puffs.
I settled back down in my chair and sneezed 87-93 times and started staring at the VCR. Why is the time never correct on the VCR? Some time passed, I have no idea if it was minutes or hours and I hear "Mom, will you put the pretzels in the oven for me?"
Eyes open to full half potential. I stagger to the kitchen. They couldn't have heard me if I answered anyway, Phantom of the Opera was at wall shaking decibels. They have been playing it continuously for the last three days. My being sick has some perks to the small peeps. Can't wait to read their journal assignments from this week, I'm sure they involve Raol and Christine.
Into the kitchen. (A full 10 feet from my chair, but these things take a while.) Flour is indeed poufing about and two baking pans of creatively shaped pretzels are perched on the counter. Some topped with Kosher salt, some with cinnamon and sugar. But unbaked. I toss them in the oven and Parker says perkily "If I cleaned up the kitchen and took a shower, guess how you could still find out what I have been doing?" My foggy brain goes through electronic surveillance, torture; beat it out of him etc. I finally look at him through watery eyes and cough out "I dunno."
"Earwax!" he says excitedly. "My earwax!"
I look at him blankly and he explains. "Even if I took a shower, you could find traces of flour in my earwax and you would know I had been baking!"
I really hope he read that in a book somewhere.
Posted by stephanie at October 9, 2008 07:22 AMDo you need a Ethan and I to bring you some klennex and food products on a mission of mercy??
Posted by: Aunt J at October 9, 2008 08:48 AMI actually feel better this morning thanks to the burny shot.(Although David claims I do not look better - puffy eyes and blotchy face and all. He is right. And I still have no voice.) I have plans to go get some new Puffs Ultra, some food and more prednisone.
Thank you and I love you and have fun at playgroup!!!
Posted by: Steph at October 9, 2008 09:10 AM